time time time time time

hello, blog.

i think one of the perks of not liking your job is that you really get to bond with other people you work with who also don't like their jobs. laura started her new job already, leaving a void in our ragtag team at work. fewer people to get coffee with downstairs. fewer people to get treats with in the afternoon. fewer people to talk to candis with. basically, fewer people to waste time with. it's weird. i walk by her office door and make goofy faces, but the intern is at her desk now and i think she thinks i'm crazy a little. i still do the same number of high-fives on my way out in the evening. high-five justin. high-five brady. say, "buhbyyyyyyeeee, caaaaaandis." but then i walk to the metro and ride by myself. no yelling or calling each other disgusting. i am reading more, though! i'm just readjusting.

banana phone was a resounding success, i think. my phone doesn't actually fit in it, but who needs that. it was taped to the phone receiver in my office for a while, but now i'm just carrying it around in my purse in case i'm ever in need of a banana phone (always). "hello. banana phone." it hasn't stopped being funny to me yet.

i paid all our bills this morning. i went to the doctor yesterday and i'm all bandaged. dana got back from atlanta last night. she and i went to the swedish embassy and to hello cupcake on saturday. we walked around a lot. at the house of sweden, the security guard mistook us for some old swedish women and he escorted us to the roof deck that overlooks the water. it was beautiful and sunny.

gabrielle, dana, devan, and i are going to see jesus christ superstar at the warner theatre in a few weeks. i feel like it's such a grown up thing for us to do. going to the theatre. buying play tickets. etc. i'm really excited. g, dana, and i watched the movie over the weekend. the same man is still playing jesus. sweet dreams of rock operas.

i just tried to explain what panda bear sounds like to my office mate. he responded with, "we are so different."

i'm still working on my personal statement which is a big pain. i went to an information session for the library science program at catholic on saturday morning. it was great and everyone who was there from the program was so nice, helpful, and nerdy. i hope i get into this program. i hope i finish my application soon also. i toyed with the idea of applying to start this summer because applications aren't due until april 1st. i'm going to guatemala in june, though, so that would mess with classes and stuff. i'm just in such a hurry to move on to something else, i think. but yet time is flying by so quickly. did you know it's nearly the end of february 2009? how did that happen? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? weeks seems to be running past me, and i don't know where they go. i'm busy and i'm doing things that i think are exciting and worthwhile, but i feel like there isn't enough time in a day and things move so quickly, but i'm also still wanting to rush into grad school and other future things. it's a weird balance between present and future, and they're both happening so much together and all the time. i feel like i am more acutely aware of the passing of time now than i was in school. with school, everything was on a set time frame. i knew when the year would end, i knew when breaks were, i knew when i would graduate, etc. now i have an ocean of time ahead of me and no real way to organize it or break it up. going back to school would help with that. at what point do i start revelling in this massive amount of future before me? do i grow out of feeling overwhelmed by it? when i get to a place where i am as happy in my work as i am in my free time, will i rejoice to have such an indeterminate amount of time to be happy in? is it when i'm in the middle of it, not at the beginning, that it seems manageable? or then do i feel overwhelmed by how much time is behind me?

my hair is getting long. another measure of time. i'm growing it at least until guatemala. i use conditioner and a hair dryer in the mornings now. i resent that it takes me an addition 5-7 minutes to get ready because of this hair. i have also gotten dressed from clothes selected off of my floor every day this week. i'm disgusting. when will i clean my room? will i ever clean my room? i want to move my furniture, but is it worth it in a house that we're renting? how long will we live here? life is uncertain, but that's beautiful, right? i can do anything!

it's supposed to be warm(ish) today and tomorrow. i love it. maybe laura and i can throw a softball again. my mom just sent me a sweet e-mail. she's wonderful and excited that i'm seeing jesus christ superstar. i will ask her for some folksy wisdom later because i love that.

if i was going to waste time writing personally at work, i should probably have been working on my personal statement. oh well. nice seeing you, blog. take care.